I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
