Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
