just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
