dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
