cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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