I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
