so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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