There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
