I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
