Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
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