if i can run in heels then i can drive
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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