the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
