we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
