We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Randomize
