You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
