swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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