I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize