I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
