After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
