why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
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