Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
