just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
