Already got asked if we're dating
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Sorry about my life...
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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