my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
