Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Randomize
