I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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