you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
