bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
