well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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