If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
