I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
