The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
