with your own penis?
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize