you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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