We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
