i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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