Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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