You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
