he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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