That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
