SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
We had to coat check the pizza.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
