Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize