Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
