If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
