he thought i was a dude.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
