when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
