First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Enjoy the penises
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
