Do vagina's smell?
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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