he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
