How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
