I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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