I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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