Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
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