he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
