I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
