you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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