Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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