I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize