3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Randomize
