i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
