never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
