You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
