I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
