Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize
