yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
