I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
