uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
