You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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