we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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